Today has been the day of all days. The boys woke me up arguing at 7-ish arguing about the PS3. That escalated into name calling and a clothing war that ended up with the hallway and their room being covered in just about every article of clothing they own. I took the game controllers and instructed them ever so politely (read that yelled my face off) to hurry up and get them folded and put away. Four miserable, blood pressure rising hours later I was still telling them to get the clothes up, but they had decided lying on their beds was a better choice so I unhooked the whole console and told them they had one week with no game. *Cue the fireworks*
Flash started crying, not a normal cry but an anger fueled, game addicts cry of rage. Then he made a choice that completely shocked me; he picked up a totebox full of toys and threw them, breaking the box. Hulk had been lying on his bed this whole time quietly berating my parenting skills and making personal digs which I ignored as I still instructed them to pick up their mess trying to hold my frustration in check as fatigue settled like a heavy winter coat on my shoulders. Finally I had had enough, didn’t these mini thugs get the memo, I am the damn parent not them, I make the rules, they follow them! I make the executive decision to start taking things, TV, computer time, outside time, anything and everything I can use as a punishment and in increments they begin to lose their freedom and everything they hold dear. This fuels Flash to the point that he now hates me, wants to live with his Dad, hopes I die… the whole litany of shit kids say when pissed. A part of my mind was marveling at his behavior because this is the ‘baby’ who doesn’t act like this and it hits me full in the chest, he is acting just like his older brother when he has an anger driven meltdown. He has quietly watched and absorbed all these negatives and today of all days they have decided to come out and say hi.
At this point I am holding in the tears because 2 of them like this is too much. It is me against the Hulk and Flash and I am loosing. The girls had both peeked out of their rooms and went right back in lest they become a target of any of the rage swirling around the upstairs. I know I cannot show weakness because if the Hulk sees tears I am a goner, he will take that as weakness and go for the jugular with a verbal attack. Finally I back away from their room and lock myself in mine to regroup (read that have a good cry). They start knocking a staccato on my door alternately calling my name. They are meek and apologetic until I don’t answer them then the anger rises up again. Hulk is reveling in a companion on a journey he usually takes solo and escalates faster than usual; Flash has run out of ammunition so he is now following his brother’s lead.
Sigh, I guess I need to unlock this door and deal. I need to call in reinforcements. Or maybe I will just hide for just a little while longer.