Quite possibly the most terrifying moment of my adult life was watching my Grandkid be born. Whoever told anyone that that was a sight to be seen lied, period, end of story.  I see why the family of yester-year waited in the waiting room, we should totally bring that back. Yeah, yeah, yeah the whole miracle of life thing is cool but the actual springing forth does not involve any springing. It is messy and gross and scary, she looked like an alien and the goo, oh gag, the goo.

I blame my older sister for ruining the moment for me because I was quite content in my corner at the head of the bed looking at the wall. My hearing is excellent I was not going to miss anything, yet she had to grab me (she is stronger than I thought) and pull me until I was right behind the Dr. My eyes! Is that a head? And …oh I swear I am going to pass out, or throw up. Can you do both simultaneously? If not get out your record books because this is going to be a first!

Once Lil Miss Cupcake was free from that horrible mess (blergh!) they wiped some of the goo off her , slapped her down on her mama’s chest and her Great Grandma leaned over and kissed her on the head! (Insert surprised Ralph face here) I swear I can’t make this stuff up. Like she did not just witness what I did, she placed her lips on the head of this little gooey baby and smooched. I had to sit down and, yeah I was crying, not because I am an emotional sap or anything like that but because I had been hungry up until the pushing started and I was mourning the fact I would probably never eat again after seeing what I saw.

Once they finally got through with all the other gross stuff involved with childbirth they finally got around to cleaning that kid up. Phew! Finally, I could look at her without feeling light headed and nauseous, then the weirdest thing happened; the goo and grossness disappeared as she opened her big brown eyes and looked at me for the first time. I couldn’t believe this was actually my Grandkid and under all that mess she was adorable.

Sure from time to time I have a birth flashback and when that happens I have trouble looking the kid in the eyes for a while but I get over it and go back to doing what I do best- spoiling that little amazing person rotten. This Grandma gig rocks and I highly recommend it, just don’t stand behind the Dr. during delivery and you just might be ok. Trust me; I am an old pro at this now.