I won’t lie to you, I love free stuff. No, I don’t mean stuff in piles right off the curb with a FREE sign on it because , you never know how someone lives and do you really want to bring their problems home? Leave that crap right there for the trash collector. I mean freebies, those cute little ,most of the time, mini versions of stuff you probably don’t even use but, hey, they are teeny little versions so you must have it kinda free stuff. If you are lucky you can get a freebie with a full sized sample in it. Supersized Score! I have it bad for the free stuff. I follow freebie blogs, like freebie FB pages and have an email that is solely dedicated to freebie mailings. Every few days I get a mailbox full of packages, assorted shapes and sizes, it’s like Freebie Christmas. I even have special clear boxes for my freebies, of course they are labeled what do I look like, a nut? Pfftt! I mean why wouldn’t you label your freebie boxes right? Right?
Ahem, anyway some of these little darlings go into backpacks or lunch boxes, others go into their designated box and wait for the time I think ‘ hmm I feel like planting baby’s breath and daisies with my handy new spade’ and what do ya know? I just happen to have those things right here in my Gardening Stuff freebie box. Others get passed out to people I know who use that stuff. My sister is now the proud owner of a metal case, shaped like a lighter she can put 2 cigarette butts out in, instead of always saving that last swallow of her water bottle to put her cigs out in because that shit is gross looking man! My kid has a bunch of different K-cups and if he ever buys a Keurig™ he is set. My daughter has the skin of a 14 yr. old thanks to my freebies, she is 14 but she is an enhanced 14 thank to those face serum packs that smelled funny but left her with glowing skin. She said it kinda burned but I blame her not the off brand freebies.
Lately the freebie folks have been requiring you to take a test before they decide if you qualify for the freebie or not. It is not cool when you get a ‘Sorry this giveaway is not for you’ like WTF how come I don’t qualify for a freaking fabric softener sample like 6000 other people? Was it something I said? Am I not dressed appropriately? Is it really not me , it’s you? Way to take the fun out of freebie-ing corporate Freebie guys. Nobody likes tests, nobody. I just want the free stuff man, give it to me, I need it. Mama needs it bad.