I finally decided what to bake for the Grandbaby’s 1st birthday. A special, themed menu primarily things I can make ahead of time, things I bake all the time and am actually quite good at but I decide, in my infinite wisdom, to make everything mini. I was excited to do it because I am all about a good party theme. Mini’s for our mini was my battle cry as I snatched bowls and whisks out of cabinets and drawers. I had a new mini muffin pan begging to be used so I was ready for action.
It didn’t take long for me to see I had underestimated how time consuming minis really are. That coupled with a kid who decided to see why Mom loves her coffee so much, at 9 freaking P.M! Have you ever seen a kid with ADHD on caffeine? Well I have and it will haunt me forever. I tried to channel all his energy into helping me put liners in pans, sweeping etc. but apparently his superhuman speed only worked on irritating (read fun for him) tasks. He twirled, flipped, touched, talked O-M-G how he talked endlessly until I said,”Hey how about you take all that energy upstairs and make sure your bathroom is clean for tomorrow.” BOOM! He crashed. He had no energy, the stairs were too far, the bathroom too large, he could hardly keep his eyes open, the list went on of how broken this poor fella was UNTIL I walked out of the kitchen foolishly leaving 3 bowls of cookie icing unattended on the counter. You know what cookie icing is made of don’t you? Powdered sugar and milk, yep powdered sugar. 3 glorious, colorful bowls of UNATTENDED sugary goodness.
His sugar rush was far more impressive than the caffeine ride he took. He may have floated a little when he walked or it could have been the excessive speed he was moving at just made it appear that way to my puny, over tired, mini’ed out brain. All I know is that kid broke records that night, land speed records. Now try and picture it- me in the kitchen rolling out cookie dough for a couple or 4 dozen little number 1’s, flour up to my elbows and in my hair when I hear a crash form the other room. I frantically run in there to find him sitting on the couch sweating, chest heaving I ask what the hell that crash was and he says,”nothin’.” It doesn’t look like nothing dude! His eyes were huge and shiny, his bottom lip had started moving sideways super-fast and he had a twitch in one eye. I threw my flour covered hands back in the air and backed away slowly. Once I was firmly entrenched in flour once again I hear his twin sister howling from upstairs. He has floated up there and was regaling her with a minute by minute detailing of the last 14 years he has been on the planet, never you mind if it was completely accurate it was his story and he was telling it. She looked panicked, like she had no way to escape, which is sorta true because he was blocking her door with his one man show. She threatened him a few times but he was too far gone to care. He just kept going and going. His older sister offered him the baby to play with and he even tired her out. So he moved back down to me, in mini hell. He finally crashed again around 3 a.m. The snores that came out of him woke his younger brother and set off car alarms (ok, ok maybe that is an exaggeration, maybe).
I learned two , maybe 3 very valuable lessons that night. Never, ever, ever…ever make an entire menu in miniature form, ever. Never leave unattended colored crack on the counters where the kids can get it and too hide my damn coffee. The story was funny to tell at the party the next day but I aged dramatically the night before.