I am sitting here watching reality tv because I am not sleepy yet. I realized some things watching this stuff; first off I dunno how the hell the chicks on Bridezilla’s find men that want to marry them. Most of the dudes are simps so I guess that might be the common denominator but, yikes! These chicks are freaking nutjob train wrecks. I swear if I had a so-called friend who talked to me the way these broads do I would throat punch myself for allowing that B.S. Plus I could never had fixed my face to talk to my Daddy the way these chicken heads do either, there is no way, I loved that dude way too much to ever disrespect him. My mom would have hit me with a flying suplex and some serious MMA type moves if I ever thought to raise my voice or even curse around her. I would be begging for money to get my teeth replaced not pay for a wedding. I just don’t get it.

Secondly, if I was a rich bitch I would find some calm, crafting, do-gooder charity board  type friends to kick it with. No way am I hanging out with ghetto rich chicks, that is redundant, I don’t hang with hood chicks when I am penny pinching so why in the bright blue world would I when I am rolling in it? Seems legit right? Watch some of those housewife shows or any reality show with wife or wives in the title. Hood! I watched a show about the wives of doctors and those women fought at lavish parties, dogged each other out privately and publically and even talked shit about the other moms’ kids. I am not trying to catch a case; jail is not the place for this gal so I cannot be around those kinds of people, EVER. I guess what they say about money not buying class is true but hell it should afford you the opportunity to stay so busy doing other stuff that you just can’t fit the drama in your schedule.

Thirdly I need a sassy gay friend stat. I am so far behind on my hip lingo it is sad. I didn’t know that a read is the same as being told about yourself or that throwed means good or cool, but throwing shade is shit talking. IKR? I have had to bookmark http://www.urbandictionary.com so I can hold a convo with the young hipsters in my life. LMAO I am kidding, I use it to understand these tv shows and my teenagers, but mostly the tv shows. Not only that, but my personal style is suffering without the help of said gay friend. I really need to let my friends know I am looking to trade them in for a sassier crew. Forget these career minded family men, I need a fella in Louboutins and  more makeup than me to tell me when my outfit and hair are throwed and to read all the mean gals we come in contact with while smacking their colored lips and throwing shade on them hos. Ooohh, I may not need help after all, only 3 episodes into this season of Bad Girls club and I am talking like a pole swangin’, liquor guzzling, chick kissing, shade throwing 2013 type of female. Sweet crap on a cracker, my I.Q dropped exponentially even writing that.

Even though I talk mess, I will continue to watch this shit because it makes me feel so good about myself, and in the long run isn’t that what it is all about? 🙂

 

bridezilla

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