Picasso broke his computer screen. He comes in and takes over mine at all hours of the day and night because, like his mother, he is a procrastinator and insomniac. Trust me when I say that is not a cool mixture. We procrastinate about work projects or school until the very last minute and then make ourselves crazy to get done by the deadline, hell we procrastinate about sleeping.
I have gotten use to waking up to my desk chair squeaking as he rocks back in it after hours of photo editing, resizing and something called batch processing that always makes him curse under his breath. But this morning took the cake… it was between 3:30 and 5 a.m when my door swung open and I heard this creepy ass voice say,” It’s meeee”. WTF? My sleep addled brain went into overdrive because who the hell was Me and why were they coming into my room at the ass crack of night? I tried to jump up but I had rolled myself into my comforter when I got cold and now in a panic I couldn’t get free. OH GAWD I was going to die at the hands of Me and never reach my full potential! Then the desk chair squeaked, I heard the keys being hit in a familiar manner- at first I thought the killer was typing a note that would supposedly be from me to explain my demise, then I realized Me was humming! Curse you Criminal Minds, CSI Miami Las Vegas and NY, NCIS LA and the real one I know what humming killers who type do to you when they finally get you unrolled from your comforter cocoon of safety.
I was scared! I mean crazy , updating my will in my head , panic stricken crazy and on top of it ,I needed to pee. Crap on a cracker this was getting critical! And then my alarm went off and Picasso said, “I will wake Flash up for you Mom.” I may have screamed out loud. Ok, Ok I did. Hell I was having chest pains, real life making deals with God with my fingers crossed, chest pains and it was this clown all along because he woke up and decided to edit pictures. I seriously cannot wait for him to get his PC fixed so I can sneak in his room and pull the same crap.