I was invited to be a part of a workshop today, to learn with area advocates the ins and outs of the IEP process from the region’s leading guy who is retiring soon. I was one of two parents in attendance, the rest were bigshots and whatnots. I woke up extra early because for some damn reason I didn’t write what time my ride was coming down. I couldn’t decide if it was 8 or 9:30 so I was showered and dressed by 8:30 just in case. So you know I didn’t need to be ready until 9:30 right, because that is how it works with my ole Swiss cheese brain.

While I paced and clock watched I commented to Picasso that I was nervous since I am always around kids that I had forgotten how to have a normal adult conversation and that I had to pee like crazy all morning. I know, I know TMI but that is how we get down around here. And he told me I have anxi-pee and that I always run back and forth to the bathroom when I have somewhere to go. I told him it is caused by my unnatural, but totally valid (huh??) fear of public bathrooms. I can’t do it! Ugh just thinking about it makes me want to go wash my hands thirty times, yuck.

I can’t help it though, have you seen some of those bathrooms? Gross. And I swear women’s restrooms are way nastier than the men’s room, WTF is up with that? We like to pretend we are so much cleaner and not as yucky as men but based on the bathrooms I have seen, women are nasty as fu** too! And for that very reason I keep my distance from those pits of germ infested waste. Honestly I actually had to go into the bathroom at the office today because I am having this allergy thing going on and will start coughing like I am trying to expel a lung so when I felt that tickle I went into the bathroom to cough and turn red in privacy. It was surprisingly clean. I still didn’t touch anything with my bare hands and made it out in one piece. I did hand sanitize twice after I washed them, even though I didn’t touch anything without a paper towel you just can’t be too careful.

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